Living the Hygge Life

I used to use the WordPress daily word prompts to generate blogging ideas but whoever was posting the word prompts stopped doing it. Today I thought to myself, what if I were to choose the 37th word from an article in the newspaper (since there are 37 days left to write this year)? On my first try, I landed on the word “said” but that’s too common. So I tried again and landed on the word “hygge” in an article about gift ideas. That one grabbed my attention.

What is hygge? Google translates it from Danish to English as “fun” but fun doesn’t come close to defining it. According to the Visit Denmark website, “hygge means creating a warm atmosphere and enjoying the good things in life with good people.” Oxford Dictionaries, which named hygge its 2016 word of the year, defines hygge as “A quality of cosiness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being (regarded as a defining characteristic of Danish culture).”

Evidently, hygge is a trendy thing that I missed out on, which isn’t surprising because I’m not the trendy type. If I were, I would have known that the Scandinavian hygge lifestyle is taking the world by storm!

I am also really bad at pronouncing unfamiliar words. Hygge is pronounced hoo-gah. I just can’t see the ‘y’ as an ‘oo.”

A year-end 2016 article by The New Yorker, titled The Year of Hygge, the Danish Obsession with Getting Cozy seems to place the blame for the obsession with hygge on Denmark. But hygge has evidently become a marketing obsession that is driving some Scandinavians crazy. You can’t buy hygge but the U.K and the U.S. have used the concept of hygge as an excuse to sell something. 

Perhaps Scandinavians are obsessed with hygge in the same way that Americans are obsessed with freedom. The Danes have learned to enjoy the simple things in life. Intimate conversations. Turning down the lights and turning off the noise. Simplicity. Minimalism. Less is more.

Meik Wiking, the guy who wrote The Little Book of Hygge: Danish Secrets of Happy Living, says that hygge has been called “socializing for introverts.” Give me Cozy says that hygge has been called “the introverts answer to a good time.”

My cat gets the meaning of hygge. Find a warm, quiet place to chill out and relax. I didn’t know it before today, but I’m living the hygge life.

Dear Younger Me

A couple of months ago, my childhood pen pal found me on Facebook. We got together for lunch to catch up on forty years of life. Lori gave me letters that I had written to her from 1974-1976 when we would have been in the sixth through eighth grades. You wouldn’t know it from my letters, but those were tumultuous times.

Coincidentally, my sixth grade teacher wrote me a message on Facebook saying I should share a blog post I wrote about the sixth grade to show kids that time has a way of taking care of things. The world is much different than it was when I was a kid, but kids still face many of the same challenges. Sometimes I hear adults say that they would like to be a kid again. I wouldn’t want to relive my childhood unless I could do it armed with the life experience I have now. What would the adult me tell the child me if she could?


Dear Younger Me:

I usually start out my letters with “I am fine. How are you?” I won’t ask how you are because I already know. I’m writing to let you know that although you have a bumpy road ahead of you, you will come out of it pretty much unscathed. Someday you’ll even be able to look back on these years without a feeling of angst.

If you feel like you don’t fit in right now, you are not alone. Shy people like you aren’t popular. You aren’t cool. You won’t be a star athlete; you won’t even have the opportunity to try out for the team. That’s okay. It is not unusual to feel like a misfit in school – look at all the movies that have been written about this! Yet kids who feel like misfits still grow up to be amazing, successful, functional adults.

Speaking of fitting in, I have to warn you that people are determined to force square pegs to fit in round holes even though there are slots that fit square pegs perfectly. People will try to change you into something that you are not. They already tell you to speak up, to be more social. It’s not working, is it? They have been calling you bashful and shy since you were knee-high to a grasshopper. The labels tell you that you are different; that you are not what you’re supposed to be. All it does is make you feel like there is something wrong with you. There isn’t.

Someday, you will find your tribe. You’ll discover that there are millions of people like you. Introverts are awesome! You’ll find a job that makes the most of your strengths. But in the meantime, you’ll have to put up with the pressure to conform to the “extrovert ideal.” You’ll have to participate in activities that were designed for extroverts – things that fill you with dread and anxiety. It won’t be easy but you have to get out of your comfort zone once in a while. Facing your fears will make you even stronger!

I know that you are embarrassed and ashamed of being poor. Things are also a bit crazy at home. Take a walk in someone else’s shoes. You’re not the only one from a “broken” home. Unless you see the bruises, you don’t know what another child is going through. Count your blessings. 

You already know that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. But you have let a few snobby people convince you that your worth is determined by social status – how much money your parents have, the clothes you wear. They are wrong! (I’m going to let you in on a secret: you’ll be able to afford nice things when you grow up but you won’t even want them.)

The hardships you face today will teach you an invaluable lesson. Your worth is defined by the content of your character. Period. So be honest. Be reliable. Always do your best. Go the extra mile. Treat other people the way you want to be treated. You will regret a lot of things in your life, but you will never regret being kind.

There’s one more thing I want to bring up before I close. Your mom. Over the next few years, she’s going to frustrate the heck out of you. You won’t understand her choices. You’ll spend years trying to understand why she does the things she does. You don’t realize how young she is and how much weight she has on her shoulders. The only thing you need to know is this: she loves you and she’s doing the best she can. Give her a big hug for me, okay?

Your friend always,

Cathy

P.S. U-R 2-Nice 2-B 4-gotten

My sixth grade teacher is right. Time changes things. Forty-three years ago, I would not have shared what I write with strangers. In one of my letters, I wrote about something upsetting that happened in Reading class. My teacher asked me for all of the stories I had written. She had a committee of my peers read them to select one to put in the newspaper. I was mad because I didn’t want my stories to be published! I was very self-conscious and hated being the center of attention.

Time certainly changed my perspective on the struggles of my childhood. They say that adversity builds character. Perseverance. Determination. Empathy. If I could go back and relive my childhood, would I be willing to trade some measure of adversity for some measure of character building? No, I wouldn’t. Painful memories fade. The lessons you learn in a “hard knock life” last forever.